Hoodies and shit

So over the past week or so I've seen an increasing number of folks posting shit about Treyvon Martin and George Zimmerman.  I've vaguely followed the case since I first heard about it, and I know there's been

1.) A whole lot of  continually emerging details over A. Zimmerman's nationality B. Treyvon's portrayal as an innocent party in this whole affair (old pictures of him as a fresh faced youngster, etc.) C. whether or not Treyvon was the initial aggressor or not.

2.) A separate case recently in which a kid was set on fire, and told "you get what you deserve white boy."

3.) A massive spike in the sale of Skittles, and probably hoodies too, but most folks already own those.

4.) Yet another ridiculously stupid thing out of Geraldo's mouth.

I'm not really here to talk about all of that specifically though. 

What I find disgusting and morbid is people using it to push politics and ( to a slightly lesser degree) underhanded racism. I mean, can we not all agree that children being shot and set on fire is a fucking tragedy without having to put a spin on it?  Whether it's "oh here's what the liberal media doesn't want you to see, Treyvon was expelled for weed and he really looked more like a thug than he did in that picture his family released," or "This white kid was set on fire for being white, where's his media firestorm (couldn't help it, sorry)"  Yeah, racism still exists, it's a sad yet shittily true fact.  Yeah, race probably played a part in why Treyvon was shot (although neither you nor I know what Zimmerman was thinking, and I highly doubt he'll be talking about it publicly any time soon.) Yeah racism certainly was why that poor kid was set on fire.  That being said does posting snarky shit on facebook about either kid make them any less dead or burnt?  

I dunno man, what happened to those kids is fucking tragic, and using tragedy to push politics is pretty gross.  Also seriously how is Geraldo allowed to be on tv anymore?

I apologize for nothing!

So let me first off apologize for our lack Of updates. Scratch that, we got busy, y'alls can suffer goddamn you! Let me second (first if you exclude the first apology that I just scratched) apologize for the typos that will abound in this post. I'm writing this on my phone, in bed, with a snoring girlfriend and two dogs who are far more energetic than they should be at 4:30.
I dunno man, what topics need broached here? I don't really have anything grand and profound to say about religion, whatever gets you to bed at night is a ok with this fella.
Politics? Meh, I think no matter how well intentioned a candidate is, their hand get pretty well tied by how the government works, that no one is really capable of changing shit.
No I think the only logical thing for me to talk about is something I feel pretty passionate about, and that my friends is what annoys me at work(if you don't know, I'm a bartender/server.)
1.) Snapping and or whistling at me. I'm not a dog, and this should be common sense. If you don't believe me, try doing it to your accountant or lawyer and see what reaction you get.
2.) Interrupting me. That one's pretty common sense actually, no one likes being interrupted, no one.
3.) Throwing money at me. Conterintuative, I know. Most People would just love having cash thrown at them, right? Well if I'm standing right in front of you, no, it's actually kind of demeaning that you would decide to bypass handing me your cash and instead throw it in front of me.
4.) Ordering something from the bar and walking away, giving no indication where I should bring said item out to. Self explanitory, yes?
5.) Overly simplifying your credit card tab. Let's say your name is Bryan Adams. When I ask for the name on your tab, if you say "Bryan, it's a blue chase card." you are a dick. It's more than possible that there's more than one Bryan, and you're a stupid stupid man for not thinking of that. Just giving your last name is better than that, but the full name is ideal really.
6.) When you're a dick. Stop being dicks, you know who you are.
-shuttup, shuttup all of you, goddamnit I'm busy, bring me waffles!-
pretzel.

Know what I haven't had in a while? Big League Chew.

I'm sitting at a bar (no surprises here right?) And the Little League World Series is on. It's fascinating and bizarre for a number of reasons. First off, the US seems to be represented on a statewide basis, whereas every other country is listed soley as a country. This makes for an interesting Colorado vs.Australia type dynamic. On the one hand I guess baseball is nost popular here in the states, so it stands to reason that there'll be more talented players per capita here than anywhere else, still it's odd that things are split up that way.
Also each player has their stats listed when at bat, which isn't that weird except that it lists trivia facts like their favorite food and favorite tv shows. It's odd for a couple reasons. First, that just seems like pedophile fuel. Hey, Tommy from Kansas likes s'mores, load up the rape van! Second, in the game I'm watching (Saudi Arabia vs. Japan) a Japanese kid listed his favorite food as cheese, and a Saudi kid just named his as sushi. My mind kinda got blown a little after that last one.
Anyways, I'm gonna finish this beer and head to band practice.
If hating baseball is wrong, than I imagine all my friends are in the right
-Pretzel

Neeed Heroiiiin!

Whattup Assbags?
I'm sitting at home at the moment taking a break from painting.  See I paint stuff.  Not in the "pulling ladders out of the back of an Econoline van" kinda way but the "ooh how marvelous a use of taupe, I simply must have this for my collection" kinda way.  I guess the simple way of saying it would be I'm an artist, but that has so many douchebaggy art school hipster connotations to it that I prefer just to say that I paint shit to amuse myself.  Anywhoo, I'm doing some commission pieces for a girl that I went to school with, and even though I need to put the rush on them (under 2 weeks to finish,) my hands do not want to cooperate with me.  I get shaky hands pretty easily, and I'm sure the amount of coffee and cigarettes I flood my body with isn't helping matters, but I guess that's why they call 'em addictions right?  Eh, long story short, I can't be trusted to pull a straight line right now, so i figured I'd rap with y'all for a minute.

The bandski is planning an early November tour out to Vegas and back.  So far we've only booked Vegas, but tentatively it's gonna be New Orleans, Vegas, Albuquerque, Houston, St. Louis,  and some other places I can't remember off of the top of my head.  Shit should be a blast, we're bringing along Damon's wife Michelle and our roadie (fancy right?) Joe Asshole.  Drunken debauchery and regrettable pictures should ensue.
That's all I've got for you my loves, I'm gonna go eat some food and conquer these damn shakes
Spread 'em if you got 'em!
-Prezel

Contrived Pop Bullshit

I'm at a bar listening to a gentleman whose been heaviliy indulging in some marojuana talk to my girlfriend about Lady Gaga. I have little to nothing to contribute to this conversation.
Wait, now he's talking about raves.
Now they're back to the Gaga.
I'm gonna drink

White Pizza!

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Fucking Danger Will Robinson!

Salutations y'alls!  I know it's been a while since I've posted on here, and for that I'm sincerely sorry.  Shit just gets busy sometimes y'know?  Anyways I was just gonna post this as a Facebook status but I realized I've got way to much rambling to do and not enough space on the 'ole book of face to do so.
Have you seen the new warning labels that are gonna be stuck on cigarettes? From what I gather they're not going into effect until fall of 2012 (assuming the world doesn't end by then) but they are going on every pack in the pretty near future.

Pretty serious shit huh?  Ready for the shock twist in this entry?  I'm completely for these terrifyingly gruesome bastards.  I mean it I think every pack absolutely needs these labels, hell I think every cigarette should have a heat activated chip in it that makes the cigarette yell " Hey dumbass these motherfuckers cause cancer!" in Gilbert Gottfried's voice.  

Fuck you cancer!-Gilbert Gottfired

Think about it, that's more tech jobs building the chips, more work for Mr. Gottfired, and I fucking guarantee earplug sales will skyrocket.

But that's not enough.  No the FDA may be placated with these labels, but I sirs and madams haven't built a safe enough future yet.  Check it, every McDonalds wrapper and every bucket of KFC gets a picture of an obese bloated corpse with the caption "you're eating your arteries to death fatass."  Every bottle of Jagermeister gets a picture of David Hasselhoff eating off the floor that says "you and your whole frat are going to end up like this"  

Just like this Chett, just like this

Every Snickers gets a picture of some british teeth, and every Red Bull gets a blood pressure warning smack dab on the front of it.  Think I'm done? Think again motherfuckers, at birth every child gets a forehead tattoo that indicates they may or may not be a rapist!

We'll be the safest and thusly happiest society in the world, productivity will rise and illegal downloading will end all together (for some reason or another, just go with it.)

I don't have time to wait till 2012 though, so I'm off to Kinkos to print off some labels, see you motherfuckers later!

-Pretzel