Thursday, December 30, 2010

11am Whiskey Shortage Panic

Shitbags!
Cockmongers!
Douchehounds!
Decent, loving, hardworking friends of mine!
Unite and rejoice, for it is once more, new post time!
Last night at the Mel, a friend and I were talking about the subject of interaction between customer and salesperson, and (I think?) I promised to blog about it.
More specifically, we were talking about the differences of people growing up with and without experience in the service industry. The first point raised is one that I think is pretty universally accepted, with the exception of the people it ought to apply to.  I feel that in order to graduate college you should have to work a service industry job.  Bear with me debutantes and celebutards, I'll explain my reasoning.  As most people who have worked in a food/beverage service capacity know, the public is, in general, a vast slobbering mongoloid-ish group of bastards, whiners, shit talkers, and non tippers.  And simply put, to avoid being a mongoloid-ish, whining, shit talking, non tipping bastard, you really need to deal with their kind, all up close and personal like. Nothing makes you think twice when eyeing a tip jar, talking to a waitress, or coming into a bar or restaurant five minutes before closing time like some service experience.
See, when you've been there you get an entirely different perspective. You start to think "wow, this guy probably depends on the buck or two I throw in here," "I know I said medium rare, but fuck it, rare's fine.  She's got four other tables and she looks pretty frazzled," and "Nope, they're quite ready to blow this joint, I'll go to taco bell."
Taco Bell: because you're drunk
It's a pretty basic concept but it's one that apparently a lot of people are missing, because, fuck me if I don't see bartenders, waitresses, tattoo artists, hairdressers and the lot get treated like shit every day.  You heard it here first, shit's gotta stop folks.  Just be a decent person mmkay?

The second point has to do with (subjectively I guess) cool jobs.  My previously mentioned friend, is dating a bartender and owner of the (in my opinion) coolest bar in town.  From what I'm told, his kids still think he's a total dork though.  Think I just made that example up? Well fuck you first off. Second, here's another.  One of my tattoo artists is semi famous at least.  He's appeared in a lot of magazines, won a lot of awards, and people travel pretty far to get tattooed by him.  Yet from what he tells me, his kids are in no way impressed by any of this.  Now I'm no expert in cool, far from it.  In fact, the shit you kids listen to is lame and probably too loud, and your clothes are silly and ill fitting.
This is what cool looks like to me
However I'm baffled by how the offspring of people who I consider to be well respected pillars of cooledom, think that their parents are any less than that.
Think about it, if you grow up with a "counter culture" kind of parent, and you decide to do some rebelling, how do you do that?  Start watching Glenn Beck?  Furiously organize your sock drawer? Lock your room and blare elevator music?  I dunno, I have no conclusion here, other that teenagers are fuckin' weird.  Yeah, I was, you were, and current teens are. They're strange and confusing, but eventually booze will level the playing field, so fuck it.

As always, if someone asks you if you're a god, you say yes
-Pretzel

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Oedipal Rhinoceri

Today I'm working on a t shirt design for The Sinking Ship.  It's a pin up girl, and I'll be honest with you dear readers, I really wanna bone her.  I think that means it's a good design right? I mean pin ups historically are kind of an idealized notion of what/who the artist and target audience would like to bang, so my desire to hump a bunch of pixels is completely justified isn't it?  Eh, I'm using Damon's computer so I suppose the sweet sweet love I would make to that .jpg file would be a bit of a party foul friendship-wise.  The point that I'm really trying to drive home here  though is, when we print 'em, buy a goddamned t shirt you cretins, cuz I worked really hard.
This is related to nothing, I just like adding pictures

The old band-sky is working on a new cover song.  I'm not gonna tell you what song it is, but it is gonna be pretty gnarly once we get it down.  The goal is to have it ready for our new years ever show at the Mel, so ya know, maybe come out and find out if we've learned it or not. Even is we haven't though you should probably buy me and Damon a shot.  Matt too come to think of it, but not Noah. Never Noah.

Oh yeah, go read this, it's pretty great.

I'm out, damn the man and such
-Pretzel

Thursday, December 9, 2010

CHILdren????

So i know alot of you out there in the interweb world are wondering why me and my wife michelle dont have kids yet. Granted, our kids would rule the planet, But i didnt know most of these thing were even wrong.  
cheers, 
damon!

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Doolichand!

Morning urrybody! OK it's not actually morning, but I just woke up a bit ago so in my world it's fucking morning, if you don't like the way I choose to categorize when morning is, well, there's the door jerkwad.

Still there?  Good, I'm not sure why I got all confrontational there.  Let's chalk it up to low caffeine levels in the bloodstream and we'll Hakuna Matata that shit away.
Today I'm sitting at home with my dear friend/ roommate/co-worker Michelle.  We're playing Xbox and drinkin' coffee like there's no tomorrow, so needless to say today is going well.  Earlier there was some NHL 11 going on, but currently I'm just typin' away and  watching her play Fable 3.  There are some pretty gnarly victorian steampunk-y looking propaganda posters during the load screen, which I'm pretty fond of.

NASA just made their much hyped announcement about astrobiology, and I gotta say I'm disappointed.  Yes I understand the implications of the discovery of the bacteria, but I really wanted either a half autopsied withering pathetic alien desperately gasping for air, or an H.R. Geiger-esque alien freaking out and smashing itself up against some foot thick bulletproof glass.  Ah well, some lame ass microbe that thinks arsenic is tasty will have to do I suppose.
Fuckin' Bacteria...
Tonight the band practices, and I think we may start working on a cover song.  I'm pretty stoked on it, we haven't really done any covers in quite a while, so it should be a good times all around.  Who knows maybe we'll play it at our next show (New Years Eve, Melody Inn!)
Well homies and homiettes, I'm getting hungry and I want more coffee, so entertain yourselves for a while and maybe find me an alien or two.
Most tremendous ups to Brooklyn
-Pretzel