Vkings! Wizards! Demon Lizards!

You ever have one of those mornings? You know the kind of morning when you wake up and the cuffs are a tad too tight cuz they're not the fun fuzzy kind, you can't get the taste of burritos and gin out of your mouth, and the portly guard is yelling about the illegality of your bootlegged Dora The Explorer DVDs?  Yeah me either. I mean don't get me wrong I've totally had bootlegged bavarian burrito mornings in my day just not many recently.  No sirs and lady sirs, I'm pretty stoked on life nowadays.  My stokedom is due to a number of factors (awesome friends, awesome job, the Bruins are number one in the northeast[suck it Joe, suck it Kevin] etc.) but the reason I'm gonna focus on today is motherfucking cornhole!  If you're unfamiliar with the game, cornhole is a game in which two people team up against another two and throw beanbags at a slightly angled board with a hole cut into the top.

If your bag goes in the hole you earn 3 points, and if you merely make it on the board you get 1 point, however whatever the other team scores that round will offset your score, and your opponents can knock your bags off the board and null that point. It's one of those awesome games where you can play with a beer in your hand, in fact being a bit tipsy is a good strategy.  So far as I know, "cornhole" is a regional term for the game, apparently in Chicago it's known as "beanbags."  Fuck that though, it's goddamned cornhole and I will address it as such you windy city cockbags.

I said it, do something Chi Town, come at me!

It's recently become cornhole weather at the bar, and let me tell you I could not be happier.  I'm a member of team Pussy Lickers and we're pretty amazing, I mean we took out the Weird Beards the Hoorayhole Lickers, and the Substance Abusers, that's a pretty impressive record right?  We weren't always the devastating force that causes grown men to weep and women and children to flee in terror.  Nope, we were once mere mortals just like yourselves but then we solidified with a team name.
Unity's a great thing, Op Ivy wrote a song about it, and I can see why.  I mean, in a team mentality you're not just looking out for yourself you've got other people you don't wanna let down.  I've got that going on in a number of facets of my life, the band, the house, the bar, and most recently team Pussy Lickers.  There's been numerous times when I just don't wanna play a show, but if I don't give it my all the band's gonna be let down and that'd bum me out pretty significantly.
Meh, I'm rambling and that means it's beer drinking time for uncle Pretzel
Stay sassy y'all!
-Pretzel
P.S. Don't tell Chicago what I said, they're kinda scary sometimes