Todays topic is halfassed self loathing. Bear with me judge, I just woke up and I'm still a little drunk but I swear I'm going somewhere with this. As you probably know, I live in Indianapolis Indiana (I would say I'm a proud hoosier, but I really hate that word so let's go with I like my state.) Being in the throbbing veiny pulsating...heart of the midwest, one thing that you have to deal with every year is snow, and usually lots of it.
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| This is how Google image search defines "snowpocalypse" |
Snow separates the folks in this town into two camps. The first camp I'll call the meltdown camp. These people flip the fuck out, raid the grocery store for bread and distilled water, refuse to drive anywhere and when they finally do venture onto the roads, drive about 5 miles an hour. In short they meltdown and overreact. The other camp I'll dub camp macho. These are the people who you hear say "it snows every year, why is everybody freaking out?" They tend to be men who own large trucks with diamond plated tool boxes in the bed, but there are a few women and sedan drivers in camp macho.
Here's where today's theme kicks in, I'm a card carrying member of camp macho. I rip on everyone driving slowly and I point out that yeah, this is Indiana and we usually get at least one really hard snow a year so unless you just moved here you ought to be used to driving in it. That being said every time someone else makes the same "it snows every year" observation, my first thought is "wow, you're a smug cockbag and it's gonna be poetic justice when you slide into a tree." I dislike my view on the situation, just not enough to change it, and that, sirs and madams, is halfassery.
Here's another thing you may or may not know about me, I have big stretched out earlobes. I know shocker right?
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| And how Google image defines "big stupid ears" |
Anyways a couple of days ago I broke one of my plugs whilst intoxicated, so I'm shopping for new ones online as we speak. Cash is pretty tight in the rhythm section at the moment, so buying fucking jewelry of all things is totally a vain and petty luxury purchase, but since I'm pressing on with the shopping I am apparently both vain and petty. Half assed self loathing folks.
On a fun side note, I'm sitting across from Damon right now wearing gym shorts with no underwear underneath and I'm fairly certain that at least one of my testicles is visible. He hasn't noticed yet, as he's pretty deeply involved in a game of Splinter Cell, but there's still a vague chance that he'll catch an accidental passing glance, and that comrades, makes me giggle.
In band news, we have a show coming up on February 12th at the Dojo with The Blacklist Royals The Circle City Deacons, and another band whose name I forget and am too lazy to look up right now. If you're unfamiliar with them BLR are a fucking great band and are at the beginning of what I'm predicting will be a meteoric rise to stardom, and The Deacons are (see previous entry.) So yeah, come out catch a gnarly show and maybe catch a glimpse of one of my testes!
That's all for today, carry on my wayward sons
-Pretzel
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